Get on the Bus!

Rev. Peter A. Friedrichs

September 9, 2007

I had a friend several years ago who traveled a lot on business. I mean a lot. Hundreds of thousands of miles every year. Boston to Chicago. Chicago to Charlotte. Charlotte to LA. You get the picture. She pretty much lived on airplanes and in hotel rooms. Now this was in the days before 9/11, when traveling was at least a little less of a hassle than it is today and security was not as tight. Joan was on one of her epic road trips, one that took her to five cities in seven days, or maybe it was nine cities in ten days. As was her style, she rushed from her meeting in Phoenix to catch a cab to the airport, headed to her next meeting in Dallas. Running late, she ran for the plane and boarded just before they closed the jetway door. With all her frequent flier miles, she had upgraded to first class, so she plopped herself down in the open seat in front of her and breathed a big sigh of relief. Exhausted from her grueling schedule, she was asleep before the flight attendants gave the safety speech that Joan had heard a thousand times. With the bump of the jet as it touched down on the runway, Joan awoke and began to think about the meeting with her Dallas counterparts the following day. Imagine her surprise when the flight attendant greeted the passengers with the announcement “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Denver, where the local time is 7:30.” In her haste, Joan had boarded the wrong plane, and she had ended up at the wrong destination.

When she would tell this story, after some time had passed and she had some perspective on the situation, Joan would shake her head and laugh at herself. But whenever I travel I always remember what happened to Joan, and I always double-check to make sure the plane I’m on is going where I want to go. Even when I was boarding the bus to head home from Boston for the four years I was in seminary, I’d say to the driver as I handed him my ticket, “Portland, right?” lest I get on a bus bound for Albany or Burlington.

When I was making my weekly commute to Boston, I noticed that people who rode the bus fell into three distinct categories. The first were those I called the “engagers.” Those who would sit themselves down by the window, leaving the aisle seat open to whomever sat down next to them. When they were joined by a stranger, these people would smile and readily welcome them aboard, then engage them in conversation. Next there were those who would sit down in the aisle seat, even when the window was free next to them. These people, it seemed, were hoping that the bus wouldn’t be full, and that they’d be able to have both seats to themselves for the ride. But if someone asked to sit next to them, they’d readily slide over to the window or stand up in the aisle and let the new passenger take the window seat. Perhaps they were disappointed not to have the extra room, but it wasn’t any big deal. I called these folks the “passives.” Then there were the people whom I called the “blockers.” A blocker is someone who sits down in her seat and proceeds to fill up the seat next to her with her coat and briefcase and purse and suitcase, sending the signal to any later arrival that “you’re not welcome here.” Only when the bus was completely full would the blocker give up the seat beside him, and then only with a huge commotion that made it clear to the newcomer that they were invading the blocker’s personal space. No words were exchanged between a blocker and his seat-mate for the entire journey.

There were, of course, subtle variations on these three approaches to riding the bus. Taking the window seat but keeping your nose buried in a book seemed to say “You’re welcome to sit here, but I’m not interested in talking to you.” The particularly aggressive blockers would pretend to be sleeping as passengers filed past them in search of a seat, putting up an almost impenetrable barrier between themselves and any interloper. And, speaking from personal experience, a frequent bus rider may, at different times, be an engager, or a passive, or a blocker. There were some times when I was happy to meet someone new and to spend two hours hearing their life stories. And others when I didn’t mind having a seatmate and exchanging a few words along the way. But I’ll admit that there were also some early mornings where I’d drag myself onto the 6:15 bus, sit myself down in a window seat, put my coat and my bookbag beside me, plug in my iPod and close my eyes, desperately hoping no one would try to sit next to me.

As we begin our new church year, I’ve been thinking about Joan and her detour to Denver, and about my experiences riding the bus. When last we met as a congregation, I talked about the journey that we’re on here at UUCDC. I said that we’re on “a great journey in search of valuable treasures: treasures found in the bonds of community, the gifts we receive when we are generous toward others, the riches we all share when we treat everyone with dignity and respect, the rewards of living in a world of peace, love and justice.” And I told you that “what is important is our commitment to the journey, our dedication to leaving our safe places, our willingness to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zones, and our readiness to support one another along the way.” But there is more to the journey than our eagerness to embark upon it and willingness to stick with it. There are, I think, at least two other important considerations. The first is the question of choosing our destination and the route we’re going to take to get there. And the second is how we treat each other along the way.

I doubt many of you would sign up to take a trip to nowhere. Or a trip to somewhere, but we don’t know where. Or a trip that would lead you continuously around and around in a circle, never getting anywhere. And you certainly wouldn’t get on a plane that’s headed to Denver, hoping it will end up in Dallas instead. I suppose, if your circumstances are desperate enough you might be willing to get on a bus or a plane or a train to somewhere, anywhere, just to get you out of where you are. For those of us who are refugees from other faith traditions, sometimes Unitarian Universalism can feel like that: “It’s better than where I was. I’m so glad to have gotten out of there!” But think about how much more exciting it is to anticipate, to plan for, to talk about and to take a trip to a place that you can envision. A place that you can think about and read about and dream about. And what if you could custom-tailor your trip, so that along the way you’d stop at all the places you’d like to see, so that the journey itself would be just as rewarding and satisfying as reaching the destination itself?

UUCDC is blessed with the opportunity this year to decide where it’s headed and how it’s going to get there. Who are we as a faith community, this particular group of people at this particular place, at this particular time? What is our vision of the future that we seek for ourselves and those around us? What resources do we need, and what do we need to do to work toward that vision? What are we, the members and friends of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Delaware County, called to do? What is our mission? In his book The Purpose Driven Church, pastor and author Rick Warren writes that “Nothing precedes purpose. The starting point for every church should be the question, ‘Why do we exist?’ Until you know what your church exists for, you have no foundation, no motivation and no direction.” This year the Board has convened a task force to lead us through a year-long process of self-discovery to help us answer that question, “why do we exist?” My friend Joan boarded that plane to Denver without thinking, without paying attention to the flight plan, and she ended up far, far off course. We have the opportunity this year to discern our destination and to map out our route so that we don’t inadvertently end up somewhere we didn’t intend. The outcome of our discussions will help us chart the future course of UUCDC and set us on an exciting journey toward a bright future.

Of course, our journey has already begun. We’ve been on it since the founding of the church more than fifty years ago. There are some who’ve been on the bus from the beginning, others like myself who have just come aboard recently, and others still who are lingering at the door. So, one question is “where are we going?”, and the other question is, how do we want to be with each other along the way? We have a choice to make about whether we’re going to actively engage in this process of creating our vision and our mission, or whether we’re going to sit idly by and watch how it unfolds. Or, for that matter, whether we might even actively try to undermine or derail it. In other words, will you choose to be an engager, actively contributing to the conversations about our mission (which means both talking and listening)? Or will you be a passive, holding back to see how things proceed, waiting to decide whether or not to get involved? Or will you be a blocker, a naysayer who voices the futility of the project? You know where my hope and my heart lies, but the decision will be yours to make. And it’s a decision that we will be called to make, over and over again, as our community is transformed in the pursuit of its mission.

My friend and colleague Roger Peltier has said “We are always on the cusp of greatness. Our spiritual work is in finding the courage to move into that greatness,” and I believe that to be so. We alone are responsible for our future, both as individuals and as the community of faith we call UUCDC. We alone can choose our path to our own particular greatness and we alone can choose who we are and how we’ll be along the way. So, as we begin a new church year, I say to you, “Get on the Bus!” Join us on the journey. I don’t know yet whether we’re headed to Denver, to Dallas or to some more exotic place, but I’m sure that, together, we will find our way.

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